Prague is a bitch.

Warning: The following post contains scathing criticisms not suitable for children or the elderly. Only those 18 and above and willing to indulge in some good old fashioned bashing need read forward.

Prague is a bitch. She is like one those girls you went to high school with; she is pretty, I guess, or at least all the boys think so. She is cheap, rude and more than a little dirty. Many men have left their mark on her, and although she is fun to drink with, she has little of interest to say, beyond her minor cultural virtues, namely ballet, opera, and puppets. Yes, puppets.

I felt so "American" there, in the worst way, the way that other Europeans always assume you are. I was dissatisfied constantly with the shoddy service. I hated that next to nothing was written in English, even the major tourist centers. I was offended that so many people refused to be patient with me while I struggled to understand both Czech currency and the language. Excuse me, but Czech isn't exactly offered as a language course ANYWHERE. Maybe if you had bothered to conquer a few foreign lands in your day like the British, Spanish or French, I would know how to say "how do I get to Prague Castle" in Czech, but alas, you didn't, so shouldn't I be the one shaking my finger at you?

Furthermore, there is never any need to be rude to people who are being polite to you, no matter how annoying they seem in the moment. And it seemed to permeate the Prague air. Even the people who weren't Czech were showing their ass. My hostel roommates got up at all hours of the morning, stomping about, slamming doors and talking at the top of their voices despite knowing that others were sleeping. One woman even scolded me for "taking ages" in the shower even though I never take more than 30 minutes to get ready, ever, and I had asked all the other people in the room if they needed to get in the shower before I got in. To top it all off, there are other showers on the floor, so her bitchiness was entirely uncalled for, which I made a point of informing her before I left.

I would never tell anyone not to visit a city, and maybe my limited experience in Prague has led me to an unfair conclusion. But first impressions are lasting, and Prague, you are one bitch that I am kicking to the curb.