The Dublin Experience...

As I enjoy my last few hours in Dublin, I am contemplating what I would tell those I know about to travel here, the important things that they should know about Dublin that they don't tell you in travel brochures. Since I rarely read travel brochures, and usually grab them as I'm leaving a country because I am too cheap to buy souvenirs, I have no idea if these are actually in the brochures, but here you are my friends, enjoy...

1. They serve "chips" (a.k.a. french fries) with everything. It doesn't matter if the dish you ordered already has 1000 calories all on its own, they'll still add chips. Cottage pie, which is essentially ground beef in a bowl of gravy, with a few mixed veg thrown in for good measure and mashed potatoes and cheese on top... served with chips. It is enough to make even the most devoted Southern diner a bit bloated. The waitress at today's pub asked me if my chips were alright. "Yes, I responded, it is just a lot of food". "Are you sure love, I can get you mashed potatoes or a salad if you want". Great, now they offer the salad.

2. There is no Harp in Dublin. I will admit, I didn't go into every pub in Dublin, but I made a solid effort, and no Harp. I didn't want a Harp, I wasn't disappointed, but if you are some weird Harp obsessed person, do not come to Dublin, for the proverbial Harp well is dry. I asked a bartender about it, and he confirmed my findings... you probably won't find any Harp in Dublin. It went out of fashion at the end of the 80's. Instead, he offered me an ice cold Budweiser. I respectfully declined.

3. I thought North Carolina had a lot of churches. They ain't got nothing on Dublin. If there is a day of reckoning, God will be saving these people first, that I can assure you.

4. Good luck finding your way around Dublin at first. It is not the most navigable town. However, the people are beyond friendly, and not in a cloying, insincere way (you listening, North Carolina?) but in a genuine, subtle way. So if you get lost, they'll help you find your way. They'll gently explain that something is "just over there" or my personal favorite, "down that road, just passed the church..."

5. If you feel like you've stumbled into a bad neighborhood, don't worry. I have several times, a fearful, primed-to-be-mugged tourist, wandered into a seedy looking neighborhood, and people pay me no mind. I wouldn't recommend doing it at 2 in the morning though... not that this is the kind of city where anything is going on a 2 in the morning, because it really isn't. Then again, it is a weekday, and these are good, God-fearing people. Besides, judging by the full bar stools at pubs all across this fair city prior to sundown, they are probably all too drunk to make it until 2.

6. Speaking of pubs, if you wander into a pub and there isn't a woman in sight, this shouldn't surprise you. Apparently, you just found the best Guinness in town, or so I've been told.

7. The dirtiest little secret of all, the one no one ever told me about Dublin, is they don't have much Irish food here. Yes, the capital of Ireland is a difficult place to find traditional Irish fare. You'll be better off looking for curry, that, my friends, is everywhere. Maybe all the Irish food is in India...